Tuesday, November 13, 2018

11.12.18 | Cal Academy #cnftweet

Hearing about my therapy, she invites me to the natural history museum. She understands, she tells me—she’s gone through something similar. Our first exhibit is the stingrays. They swim laps below our feet. “Do you think they ever get sad?” we ask, simultaneously.

Monday, October 22, 2018

10.22.18 | Impostor: A 53-Word Story about Doubt

Lee graduated as valedictorian from Princeton. It’s a small school, she’d say. But when she promptly got her dream job, then a promotion within months, she grew anxious. Could this all be an elaborate prank? She paused to check the difficulty settings. Oh—she’d been playing as a white male this whole time.

Monday, April 27, 2015

04.27.15 | Lunghwa

1

I take a break from researching the Lunghwa Civilian Assembly Centre. On Facebook my friend posts a photograph of the windy desert of Manzanar. She is there on a "pilgrimage," she says, to honor her heritage. Japanese internment: 1) the interning of Japanese; 2) the interning Japanese. One so well-known it has become a cliché. The other a whisper among international students in a high school in Shanghai.


2

When things are not named, do they disappear?*
If a tree falls in a forest onto the man who felled it, does it still make a sound?

3

We sat on the steps to the Big Auditorium, sipping our black tea from wax-covered cartons. We were a landmark at the school. If a teacher needed one of us during lunch break, they would know where to look. We made it onto our high school's Wikipedia page—one would instantly recognize us if they knew where to look.
You know that new indoor swimming pool by the dorms? someone asked.
Yeah? someone responded.
I heard that someone hung himself there before it was a swimming pool.
Hanged.
What?
What was there originally?
I heard our school used to be a concentration camp.
An azure-winged magpie shrieked as it fluttered across the grid-like forest of dawn redwoods.
Who was interned here?
I don't know.
Who'd you hear this from?
My English teacher heard from someone else.
Wasn't there also a teacher whose daughter drowned in Zhongxing Lake while chasing after her ball?
I think I've heard that before too.
I wonder if any of these stories are true.

4

The Shanghai Civil Assembly Center consisted of eight branches. The largest one was Lunghwa Camp, or the Lunghwa Civilian Assembly Centre. During the war period, it incarcerated a total of 1 756 people. Of these, Britain yielded 1 584, Belgium 39, the United States 37, Australia 32, Canada 24, the Netherlands 17, New Zealand 11, South Africa 7, the Soviet Union 3, Portugal 1, and Norway 1.
There were seven main buildings and several large wooden barracks. In the 59 dorms were 127 rooms for families. The death rate was one in twenty. James Graham Ballard lived amongst the incarcerated.
Lunghwa Camp had been converted from a school—longmen shuyuan, or Dragon Gate Academy—in 1943. In Chinese mythology, a carp becomes a dragon once it leaps through a particular gate. Dragon Gate Academy was intended to be such a gate. Inside the main classroom building, the Chinese character for "dragon" has been written in 115 different styles and engraved upon the lobby walls. The chandelier above has an upward-jumping carp as its body.


5

We loved exploring the vast university-like campus. We spotted out-of-place cement formations and hoped they were tombs. We slunk into the Big Auditorium through windows left open because the doors were locked to keep us out.
The building was under partial renovation but we climbed the scaffolding above the stage, through off-limit corridors and bedrooms that belonged to an older era, through metal bars, and more windows. We found our way onto the shingled roof. We stood there triumphantly, overseeing the campus hiding beneath the lush canopy of trees. We saw our director walk by and we felt an excitement that came from being above authority.

6

J.G. Ballard: English novelist, writer of Empire of the Sun (1984), which was adapted into a film by Tom Stoppard and Steven Spielberg three years later.
Jim Graham: the small English boy with sad-looking eyes who often sat on the balcony of the assembly hall, gazing down at Lunghwa Camp. The assembly hall would later become Shanghai High School's Big Auditorium, upon which my friends and I also perched.

7

Near the cafeteria, we stumbled across a gate. Behind the gate was a garden. A few days after we discovered the garden, a padlock was added to the gate.
Across from the garden gate, we found a derelict brick house among a yard of weeds. We began circling the structure and believed it to be deserted, until we heard the sound of a radio through one of the windows. We found the front door—a screen door—and saw an electric white rectangle shining through. A dog inside jumped at the door, scratching and barking at us.
We bolted.
Who could possibly be living there? Staff members of the school?
No, that can’t be.
Freeloaders?
Why would there be a house here?
I would later learn that the house was a ruin of the Japanese guards’ dwellings, but I never found out who was living there that day.


8

The tree lies on the ground, but the act of falling is imagined, a hypothetical.

9

To verify the location of certain buildings, I look up Shanghai High School on Google
Maps. For some reason the satellite image shows rows and rows of apartment buildings where the main entrance should be. Has even the school been erased from memory? I have not returned in two years, but how can I not have heard of such drastic changes to the campus?

10

A history teacher at Shanghai High School International Division argues that while the Chinese government has been calling out Japan for its atrocities against the Chinese, the sufferings of foreigners who lived in China remain unseen and unheard. Though Empire of the Sun was set on the campus, very few at Shanghai High School realize that it is their campus.
He suggests that a reason for this suppression is the many Japanese students on campus.

11

Stumbling across the fallen tree is imagined, but the incarceration truly happened.
The history teacher now gives tours and is making a mobile application as a guide for the school’s devastating past.

12

On Google Maps, the satellite image map for Shanghai is not aligned with the map of the
roads. The realization took me several refreshes of the page and ghostly streets through buildings.

13

The tree lies on the ground, and we are putting up a cautionary sign for those who fail to see it. The history of Shanghai High School and the incarceration of civilians from members of the Allied forces shall be remembered. At a school whose curriculum teaches the World Wars and Cold War three times between grades 6 and 12, its own role in the story is finally heard.

———

* A line from Gina Apostol’s novel Gun Dealers’ Daughter.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

11.01.14 | Coincide

The universe is trying to tell me something, she thought, when she finished her shower gel and shampoo on the same night. The bottles sighed pomegranate and mint when her fingers embraced them, but they oozed no fluids—they were dry. Empty.
Both of them.
This is rarer than cosmic alignment, she thought.
It’s like— like emptying a jar of peanut butter on the same sandwich as a jar of jam.

And three days later, it happened.
She did not have time to wash the jars before work, so she left them to soak in the sink. She did, however, have time to make coffee and discover that—of course—the lone coffee filter remaining in the carton would contain the last of her coffee ground.

No doubt about it, the universe was definitely trying to tell her something.

Everything’s dying.
In pairs.

And I will die alone.



When predicting a series of coin flips, one typically would not predict more than five heads in a row. The coincidence would be too absurd.
But when a coin is actually flipped and yields ten consecutive heads, people flip.
Statistically speaking, any permutation of such binaries would have the same probability. Heads-tails-heads-heads-tails is just as likely as heads-heads-heads-heads-heads.

That was what she told herself.

Assuming a fair coin, at least.
Coincidences aren’t supposed to mean anything.



The next morning, two doors down.

He held his milk carton vertically over the bowl, and shook it slightly, examining the white beads as they fell. The cereal crumbs that had been at the bottom of the bag now floated at the top of the bowl, trembling as the milk drops struck the surface.

He blinked.
Finishing these on the same day—what could this possibly mean?

Monday, June 11, 2012

06.11.12 | Ginkgo Biloba

Goethe wondered
Whether the bi-lobed ginkgo leaf
Represented a rift
Or a marriage.

All I know
Is that in this golden grove
Our minds intertwined
And became One.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

2011.11.12 | poeir

Published in the Oct 2011 issue of SHSID|Times.

I spilt the sun and drank the clouds and slept among the winds.
I learned their songs and stole their hearts and locked myself within.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

09.25.11 | An Ode

To love, or not to love?
That is the question—
Whether ‘tis nobler for the soul to suffer
The golden arrows of mischievous Cupid,
Or to take arms against a sea of passions,
And by opposing, quell them?